| Message to Parents: |
Being a parent is often a challenging job. This effort and responsibility is frequently complicated by being a parent of an athlete.
The Player-Coach Relationship:
Unfortunately, through televised games and the more recent proliferation of cable TV, many adults feel that they understand or perhaps know more than many coaches. Everyone becomes an expert. This newfound expertise may heighten your appreciation of a sport, as a parent however, you are not the coach.
The player-coach relationship is perhaps the most critical relationship in athletics. Unfortunately, a parent can have a pronounced effect on this very important and delicate relationship. While you may not agree with all decisions of a coach, how and when you express your feelings can have a distinct effect upon your child.
If you express a negative opinion in the presence of your child, you need to remember that he or she will return to practice the next day and may carry with them, your convictions. Your child will then have to interact with this coach for the remainder of the season. You, as the parent, can greatly affect this delicate relationship.
Receiving technical or strategic instruction at home may interfere and conflict with the instructional process at practice sessions and games. This may ultimately impede your child’s progress and affect his or her playing time or even receiving a starting position.
The Parent-Coach Relationship:
In your role as a parent, you obviously love and are concerned about your child’s welfare. You want the best for him or her. But an athlete can have only one coach. Allowing the coach to instruct and guide the team in crucial in many respects.
Should you have any questions or concerns, do not approach the coach immediately at the conclusion of a game/match. At this time, coaches have other responsibilities and it may not be the most appropriate time. Rather, call and make an appointment for a later time and approach this meeting in a calm, courteous and logical manner.
One of the responsibilities which a coach has at the conclusion of a contest is to have a brief meeting with their players. Athletes should not pause to talk to parents or friends immediately after games. These brief meetings are essential to the learning process involved in athletics.
The Parent-Player Relationship:
Some parents may try to live through their child’s athletic efforts. Being positive and supportive is important, but adding pressure and unrealistic expectations can be extremely harmful. Allow your child to enjoy and grow from this valuable athletic experience. In numerous national studies, it has been determined that most athletes participate for enjoyment or fun. Excessive pressure or expectations can alter this most fundamental reason for athletic participation.
When you speak to your child after a game/match, it is important not to dwell on his or her play, how many points they scored or if they started the game or not. Instead, first ask them how the team did. Did your son or daughter play hard and give 100% effort and have a good experience?
Relationships with Officials:
There is an age old refrain often used by irate fans. “How much are you paying the officials?” The home school does not get the officials. The commissioner of the particular sport assigns all officials and neither team has control over which officials are assigned to what games.
Officials agree to and follow a code of ethics. They really do not care or have a vested interest in which team emerges as the victor. It is also important to understand that they are a very necessary part of a game. A contest cannot be played without them.
While you may not agree with all of their calls, please do not harass and taunt the officials. It is also important to remember that they are in charge of the contest and have complete authority to have unruly spectators removed. In many sports, a team will see the same official several times during a season. Coaches, athletic administrators and schools often work hard to establish a rapport and good working relationships which can easily be damaged by spectators.
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